Well, here we are at the end of yet another chapter in my life. One that shall continue on a similar trajectory to be sure, as I plan on returning to Japan again in the future, but like all continuations, the very mention of the word implies a stop, a pause, a moment of calm or respite from what was, and thus, a new beginning is assured. Here I am in the largest most well managed city in all the world, moving as a tiny mote in a sea of motes all headed for places they need to be, or in my lucky case, want to be. I cannot help but wonder at the Japanese, they are so diligent and focused even as so many other people find excuse after excuse to be less so at best and far less so more commonly. I know its a generalization and such things always seem to leave a bad taste in ones mouth, but try Japan on for size and see that it is a blanket statement well deserved. I love their way of life but thats only because I don’t have to abide by all its requirements, its strictures… Honestly I would love to life in here but its a dream, if only because I’ve never been a follower in all my life and thus Japanese life is impossible for me. Knowing this makes it a bittersweet experience for me, like being obsessed with the ocean but being unable to swim and allergic to seaweed.
Back at the hostel of heroes I left early to have one final ramen special at my favorite place and to meet up with Tatsuya, the man I met on Saint Patricks day and invited me to the party on the river. We had coffee and played darts, he won of course, being an expert hand, but I wasn’t bad either. He’s a lovely man and has the whole world ahead of him, I wish him well. On the way back to the Hostel I was waiting at the subway station and an old Japanese man with white hair and beard with board shorts passed by me, then came back again, looking at my Goku shirt, and immediately crouched, raised his hands and began powering up with a roar. Knowing exactly what he was up to I matched his energy and both of us filled the subway with out might. We both smiled, our hearts filled with the joy that only Anime can bring, and then, just as quickly as it happened, he walked off. Another Japanese man around the corner was smiling uncontrollably, clearly infected with the same joy in his soul. It was and shall forever be one of the most beautiful experiences of my time in Japan.
Back at the hostel the German girl was having her birthday party and somehow I became the focal point of the celebration, there were too beautiful Japanese woman at either side of me and they insisted we make a human pyramid in a handstand, and so it was. I’ve never been so happy to be in a photo op with near strangers! I don’t know what happened to those pictures but they were glorious. That night I dreamed of my first girlfriend, the woman I still love even to this day some 20 years after breaking up with her for my own foolishness. I couldn’t believe it, I even told her so, her reply was so simple yet telling, “Of course not.” As in, yes, you don’t believe, because so much else gets in the way of the things you want most. Its a hard thing to know just how many gifts one has received and let slip, let go, or worse, made to break, but its a special gift to know that the gifts can and do continue if only we allow them too.
The next morning Tom invited me to a cheap sushi place and I wanted to refuse but accepted when the cute Japanese girls from last night joined us. The place we went was indeed cheap, $1-2 us for most of their sushi’s which came to us on a conveyer belt that snaked around the seats from the kitchen. Ultimate Japanese efficiency. Between the four of us the entire bill was less than $25, had we been anywhere outside of Japan you could easily tripple if not quadruple that amount and still not get anywhere near the quality, even at a cheap place like this one.
From there we said our farewells and it was time to check out. Two of the guests joined me on the train, Geom being one of them, he suggested I visit the Imperial gardens and so I did. There I had tea in the Shoguns personal tea house perched over a lovely pond and a barefoot stroll through the mud. After that I went to a new ramen place that was so good I was tempted to double my order even though I knew I was already full.
From there I visited Chyode park and strolled around the impressive grounds, eventually finding my way to a large open field were many couples were having picnics and enjoying games together. I laid my things down, took off my shoes again, and laid on the grass staring intently into the sky, taken away by the clouds as I watched airplanes flying over head, knowing that I would very soon be on one myself heading back to my homeland and away from the magical kingdom of Japan. I felt such nostalgia for where I was and also where I was going. Knowing that I am no longer any version of my former self, but something far better, and heading for a future unknown, but beautiful. My life for the last 20 years has been such a whirlwind of change, doubt and fear, and now after it all I find myself at peace even as the uncertainty has reached unbelievable levels.
On the way back to the train I found a street market and pulled a book from a rack because of what I saw on the cover, it was a man sitting alone, fishing off a small jetty, reminding me very much of Zelda. As soon as I put it back on the shelf a Japanese man picked it up and bought it. I can’t help but thing I changed his life simply by showing interest in something, even if it wasn’t enough for me to explore it.
I found my way to Hanaeda airport and had a near feather like pat down by security as though they were simply brushing dust from my clothing. Inside I had the best Vegan pizza of my life, scarfing the disc down like a cd drive on fire. It was wonderful. The flight home was quick, I even slept a little and found no reason to play my Anbernic. Landing in Frisco was a similar experience through security, as though protecting the country from me only mattered when leaving it. On the flight to Monterey the captain told us the weather was bad and we might actually have to turn around, there were a series of grumbles by the passengers, my own included, and as we approached my home there was indeed heavy winds which pushed and pulled the aircraft in powerful waves. Luckily we landed safely. My sister was there to pick me up and I was relieved, its always nice to have someone take you home. And here I am, at the end of an Era, beginning a new one, sure of only one thing, it will be, is and was, beautiful!